{      CrownDozen.com Gift Guide 2006      }

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Download the whole Gift Guide as a PDF here. (4MB)

{      Aaron      }

1) Bloodbath "Resurrection Through Carnage"
This Michael (Opeth) Akerfeldt fronted gore grind band took it a step beyond with Resurrection... in 2002) This is top notch, terse, crunchy, death stomp from Sweden. "Don't look me in the eyes if you're awake, Just one glimpse of me will put your life at stake, I'm the horizon and the servant of the dead, my eyes will burn you skin and flesh into a crisp, Like Fire...." So fuck you. CM Distro is having a 20% off holiday sale now so grab this and other Century Media releases while you can.

2) American Hair Metal
When I was in grad school my then professor Jackie Winsor called this group of people hermaphrodite jocks and questioned their motives from a psychological perspective. My answer then and now is simple: By whatever means necessary ROCK.

3) Forbidden Zone
This little gem is directed by Richard Elfman brother of Danny. Absurdist musical with animation, Hector "The Plane! The Plane!" Villechaize, Danny Elfman as the devil, Vaudeville meets new wave: What more could you ask for?

4) Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir by Graham Roumieu
"It true, Bigfoot career been in hole lately..." begins this illustrated walk through the life of everyone's favorite forest dweller. Drawn and written from Bigfoot's POV if this book doesn't make you laugh you should watch your back because Bigfoot may be coming for you.

5) Marvel Zombies
If you haven't read a comic in a while this is a great reintroduction. All your favorites have eaten earth's citizens alive and are turning on one another! The end will twist your head right off. With all the covers plus some alternates in the back this is must have.

{      Adam      }

1) Italian Stilletto Switchblade
Nothing says "I love you" this Holiday Season quite like cold, hard spring-activated steel.  SKM offers a stoopid number of customization options, such as blade length (37" !?!?) handle color (I'm torn between "Frostwood" and "Turquoise Fantasy").  You can even get different blade styles, including an all-black teflon coating for steatlh-stabbings or a wavy kris dagger blade that will make you the belle of the ball at your next LARP or Ren-Faire.

2) Dominica Bay Rum Lime Aftershave
Out-smell-good all those Williamsburg hipsters who've been ironically splashing on their grandad's Bay Rum with this bit of one-upsmanship.  That's right, this shit is LIME motherfuckers!

3) Devil Girl and Skeleton Cowboy Spastik Plastik
Funko's Spastik Plastik is definitely my all-time fave toy line, and these two new releases epitomize everything I love about them: simple design, bright colors, unique characters.  Plus, I don't have these two yet.

4) Sqube
Seriously, who doesn't want this?  Rumors are flying about glow-in-the-dark and clear variants coming soon, and there's already a black colorway available, but nothing will ever out-cool the classic white version.

5) Sin In Linen Tumblers and Rocks Glassware Sets
I have an unreasonable attraction to custom glassware, particularly when it depicts such sultry, sleazy and slightly shady pulp images.  There is no better way to drink bourbon.  Or tap water, for that matter.

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