March 5, 2008

{     12 Stupid Blunt Wrap Flavors     }    

12. Maple Syrup
11. Mojito
10. Banana Split
9. Kristal
8. Cotton Candy
7. Sizzurp
6. Apple Brown Betty
5. White Russian / Black Russian
4. Peanut Butter
3. Peanut Butter & Jelly
2. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
1. Lychee

Honorable Mention (These are more "flavas" than "flavors"):
Urban Assault
Hyphy
...and for my dudes Chris and Chris down at University Liquor:
Wet Mango
Krypto

December 30, 2007

{     12 Types of Nipples     }    

1) Bologna
2) Silver Dollars
3) Pepperoni ('Ronis)
4) Blind Pigs
5) Bubble Gum
6) Muffin Tops (aka Smurf Houses)
7) Puffles
8) Dipples
9) Pencil Erasers
.....a) Tart 'N Tinys
.....b) Lincoln Logs (aka Hot Dogs)
10) Candy Buttons
11) Fade-outs (aka Ghosts)
12) Crunchberries

Click "read on" for descriptions of each.

{     Wrap It Up: Music in 2K7     }    

2K7 was a pretty hit or miss year for me music-wise. It was either "OMG I'm in love" or "nothing has come out in months I like at all". I found myself listening to far more music containing lyricists and thought and far less grillz, hoez, and blips & beeps...perhaps I'm just getting old. With no further adieu, my list of the best albums of 2007.

1. M.I.A. - Kala
2. Feist - The Reminder
3. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
4. Jay-Z. - American Gangster Soundtrack
5. Jay-Jay Johanson - The Long Term Physical Effects Are Not Yet Known
6. LCD Soundsystem - The Sound of Silver
7. Beirut - The Flying Club Cup
8. UGK - Underground Kings
9. Mark Ronson - Version
10. Chromeo - Fancy Footwork
11. Bat for Lashes - Fur and Gold
12. Portugal the Man - It's Complicated Being a Wizard

December 28, 2007

{     "Dizzy" Lizzy Rachtman's Top 12 Metal Releases of 2007.     }    

An ordered account of all the metal I heard and loved in the year of our Uberlard 2007.

1. Pig Destroyer "Phantom Limb"
2. Neurosis "Given to the Rising"
3. Black Dahlia Murder "Nocturnal"
4. High on Fire "Death is this Communion"
5. Dillinger Escape Plan "Ire Works"
6. Big Business "Here Come the Waterworks"
7. Baroness "Red Album"
8. Blood Duster "Lyden Na"
9. Death Breath "Let it Stink"
10. Exodus "The Atrocity Exhibition- Exhibit A"
11. Darkest Hour "Deliver Us"
12. Sleepytime Gorilla Museum "In Glorious Times"

November 17, 2007

{     Twelve Artists Who Deserve Your Attention     }    

1. Deer Tick
2. Sea Wolf
3. Bon Iver
4. Elephant Parade
5. Jens Lekman
6. Fink
7. Ian Brown
8. Architecture In Helsinki
9. Peter And The Wolf
10. Luke Temple
11. Le Loup
12. The GO

Listen to each artist after the jump!

October 17, 2007

{     ZOMBIES!!!     }    

12. Threadless Zombie-Themed T-Shirts
11. Glow-in-the-Dark Flesh Eating Zombies Playset
10. Pirate Baby's Cabana Battle Street Fight 2006
9. Re-Penetrator
8. Fido
7. Drink your zombie from a Zombie
6. Oddica's "Zombie Brain Chew" Tee
5. World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War
4. Return of the Living Dead
3. Mishka Zombi VII Hooded Zip-Up
2. Scopolamine
1. The Walking Dead

September 13, 2007

{     HATE to love / LOVE to hate     }    

HATE to love
6. The O.C. on DVD
5. Robin Thicke
4. Xbox 360
3. Sausage McGriddles
2. Friday Night Lights
1. Dragon Dynasty

LOVE to hate
6. Carlos Mencia
5. Cloverfield
4. Texas (the State)
3. Poker Dudes
2. C.S.A. The Movie
1. Cuba Gooding Jr.

Click "Read on" to find out why....

August 22, 2007

{     Top 12 stoner rock bands     }    

This is my list of the top 12 stoner rock bands off the top of my head, even though I like way more than just 12 of them. Also, these are bands that I think the stoner-rock/metal/sludge/southern/doom novice would be wise in listening to so they could get a feel of what this genre is all about. I am straight-edge but I listen to stoner-rock. It's ironic and we'll leave it at that. In no particular order, here they are:

1. Sunn O)))
2. Weedeater
3. Rwake (pronounced 'wake')
4. Bongzilla
5. Sleep
6. Om
7. Dove
8. Floor
9. Eyehategod
10. Melvins
11. Lesbian
12. Buried at Sea

July 23, 2007

{     Some of My Favorite Shitty Movies     }    

12. Cursed
11. The Big Hit
10. Airborne
9. Hudson Hawk
8. xXx
7. Miami Vice
6. Bio-Dome
5. Hard Target
4. Showgirls
3. Clambake
2. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
1. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

Click "read on" to, well, um... read on.

June 13, 2007

{     Awesome Church Marquee Slogans     }    

12. FEELING LOST? CHECK YOUR GPS (GOD’S PLAN FOR SALVATION)

11. DOWN IN THE MOUTH? IT’S TIME FOR A FAITH LIFT

10. WALMART IS NOT THE ONLY SAVING PLACE

9. DOWNLOAD YOUR WORRIES, UPLOAD PEACE

8. THIS CHURCH IS PRAYER-CONDITIONED

7. THE MOST POWERFUL POSITION IS ON YOUR KNEES

6. FIGHT TRUTH DECAY- READ YOUR BIBLE TODAY

5. PRAYER: WIRELESS ACCESS TO GOD WITH NO ROAMING FEE!

4. GOD ANSWERS KNEE-MAIL

3. FOR ALL YOU DO, HIS BLOOD’S FOR YOU

2. BODY PIERCING SAVED MY LIFE

1. JESUS DIED FOR “MYSPACE” IN HEAVEN

April 2, 2007

{     Top Twelve Albums I Got My Hands On - Spring 07'     }    

1) The Broken West - "I Can't Go On, I'll Go On"
2) Panda Bear - "Person Pitch"
3) Money Mark - "Brand New Tomorrow"
4) Thomas Dybdahl - "Science"
5) Chris Garneau - "Music For Tourists"
6) Let's Go Sailing - "The Chaos In Order"
7) We All Have Hooks For Hands - "The Pretender"
8) William Fitzsimmons - "Until When We Are Ghosts"
9) Malcom Middleton - "A Brighter Beat"
10) Son Volt - "The Search"
11) Albert Hammond, Jr. - "Yours To Keep"
12) Limbeck - "Limbeck"

March 21, 2007

{     Top Twelve Voices (Singers)     }    

Short and sweet list of my top twelve favorite voices or singers, if you will. They are in no particular order and I know that I may be leaving some real great ones out, but at Crown Dozen it's about the twelves! So, without further adieu, here goes:

1. Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins)
2. Johnny Cash
3. Dax Riggs (Acid Bath/Agents of Oblivion)
4. Anticon)
11. Dose one (Anticon)
12. Khaela Maricich (The Blow)

Yeah, just as I suspected, there are ton more that I can think of right now that I really wish I could add. For the time being though these will do.